LET'S TRASH SOMETHING!

The Grand Duchy of Sveeden, the penis of Europe, unofficially the Islamic Communist Anti-Nationalistic Pro-Migration United States of Sweden, consists of the remnants of a once Great Empire that 1,000 years ago stretched itself from the Caspian Sea right up to the Polar region. This great empire has today been reduced to nothing more than a chilly peninsula where most flashy parts have been occupied by Norwegians. In addition, Swedish people do not have souls. Most Swedes live off the investments they don't have in IKEA, the corporate whore that dominates your local malls everywhere in the USA. Most of Swedes spend their free time playing or listening to death metal. Contents [hide]


History

The great history of the Swedes starts at 955 when the Great Duke of Kiev gives up his attempts to control his chaotic empire and calls for help from the Russians The Russians were tradesmen from the archipelago Roslagen on present Swedish East Coast. They were at that time trading with Constantinople and Babylon and they were renowned all over Eurasia for their great administrative skills. Just as the Norwegian Vikings would rape and plunder, the Swedish Vikings would front their enemies with waterproof business contracts, file legal complaints and set up new branches of their internal revenue service. It is rumored that the king of Sweden uses tax-payers money to pay for custom cinnamon fish for him and his pet turtle named Earl.

For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Sweden.

The Russians came when called and reorganized the feeble Duchy of Ukraine into a county called the Great Russian Empire, installed the Duke of Kiev as a county Governor with extensive tax reductions for representation and business travel.

Although Sweden is the official name of Sweden due to American imperialism, all Swedes call it Swärje.


Later History

As the capital for these great navigators, vas declared Göthenburg and as the king, as the GöthenBurgerKing, became nobody else but Göthe himself. Unfjortunately, having enjoyed too much fjast fjood, he slowly fjaded away into a 180 kg mjountain of fjat. During the years of fjamine he vas fjinally stabbed to death by his own kitchen staff. This fjirst king vas then fjollowed by his son, the master cook Göran, or as his fjather used to call him "the slickly-brown-tongued-scam-planner-fraudulent-liar-snurunge".

Through series of military set-backs and cash-backs and pay-backs and .. anyhow, the cool Svezia Imperius expanded, and along traded fish and great spirits. It reached its peak under the great king Gustavus Adolphus, who reigned for two years before he was reputedly killed. There is a rumor that Gustavus vas actually a dolphin, and that he currently resides at SeaVorld. Under his reign, the mighty empire covered most of the known central-northern Europe, especially at 16:30 hrs. It vas then the 30-years' crisis became a fact for most of the Europeans. However most of vat vas gained vas again lost at 17:45 hrs. Fjurther on, at 18:00 hrs the Empire lost even more, and fjinally at 19:00 hrs, the whole story of Svedish megastories, got wrapped together, and ...

...they started to fjolk dance instead. The modern Sveden is home of the ever appreciated folk dances and songs, vich are so lyrically brought to you from 20:00 hrs onwards from Skansen of Stockholm by Svedish National Broadcasting Agency SVT, a merry moment of group songs, while moose mate, from the last frontier of the wild side of Sveden at Stockholm, Sveden, Hebrids of Europe.

As a summary, Svedish history can be divided into five major phases:

1. The Idiotic Phase (<900 a.d.): At this time the rest of Europe vas mostly concerned with building epic monuments and creating great works of art, phjilosophy and general culture. The early inhabitants of Sweden, however, vere still unsuccessfully trying to eat rocks.

2. The Mildly Psychotic or Viking Phase (900-1300): War, lots of it, With everyone including oneself and any pets one might have. And nuclear weapons. They also had smelly cheese

3. The Asshole Phase (1300-1800): More war. This time destruction on an organized basis. 500 years covered by 145 wars or one war every 3.448 years. Some wars lasted for ca 30 years. Most appear to have no goal or logic except to make other Europeans' lives hell. And conquer Spain and Palestine.

4. The Sissy Phase (1800-present): War declared bad and outright mean after the great Finnish Warriors refused to serve the Swedish king any longer. Sweden organizes a tea party for peace. No one came but the Norwegians and the Swiss. Swedish foreign policy is best described as a tearful "*sob* Why, oh Hwy can't everyone just get along?".

5. The Legalized Porn Phase (1960-present): Swedish girls begin to have vain delusions of being hot.


Geography

Sweden consists of four parts: The Naughty Parts, The Boring Parts, The Sexy Parts and Norrland. Stockholm is the home for a species of indigenous retarded upper class twits with small ideas of what is outside their habitat Östermalm. Norrland is sparsely populated with snuffing snowmobile-driving believers in The Midnight Sun. Frankly, this is what makes Sweden so cool.

All industry and agriculture in Sweden is located in places around the country. The economical, political and medial power is however located in Stockholm. This creates a perfect symbiosis. The outlines of this were sketched by Per Albin Hansson in the 1930s and have later been proven by the professor of sociology Nils Ängelby to be consistent with the best way of life, so long as it pays his salary.

Recently Sweden has expressed claims to USA, suggesting that America was first discovered by Vikings, and the real ownership of the land is not by Columbus, but Sven the Pisspoor Navigator. So, there is a very high chance that Sweden will move to America some time in the near future.

Sweden is somewhat noted for its distinctive penis shape, but more especially noted for its limpness.


Food:

The two Swedish traditional dishes are meatballs, made from polar bears, and a kind of raw, rotten fish called surströmming. The tradition is said to have started when shipments of Sushi from Japan went bad on their way to Switzerland, but the polite and simple-minded Swedes forced themselves to eat it, and by courtesy they have been doing so ever since.

Swedish cuisine also consists of another fish product, "Sweet Herring", which is a herring in sugar marinade. On special occasions Swedes let herrings "breathe" in warm air for a few days; the fish reaches its optimal sweet taste just as flies start to lay eggs in them. There are also many kinds of "Sweet Herring," like "Honey Marinade Herring" or "Chocolate covered Sugar Herring".

There are also many other dishes on the Swedish menu, but mostly it consists of regular dog food and moose-flavored portions. Instead of salt, Swedes use sugar or honey. Lots of it. And I mean lots. Additionally, one can add a hell of a lot of dill to everything.

Other than the above mentioned foods, Swedish animals are very rare unless you happen to disagree. The most common of all is the mosquito imported from Finland, which is often devoured together with surströmming as the mosquito prefers to lay its eggs in what was once fish food. Some tourists also claim seeing Bigfoots in various parts of Sweden, though it has now been scientifically proven that "bigfoots" are likely to be Swedes from remote "torps" (farms) who got wasted on a Saturday night. The theory is supported by the fact they they have usually been sighted during weekends near "torps" and their appearance is heralded by the strong odour of "brännvin" - Swedish variety of vodka made from "björk" (birch) mixed with surströmming for more emphatic effect.

As you probably learned by now, Swedes love eggs and it is a well-known fact that former Beatle John Lennon loved eggs too. When Lennon sang "I am the egg man", an original phrase picked from Swedish folk song Agamemnon, he declared his true love for the Swedish female, the true hen having eggs in series.

As well, Swedish inhabitants consider themselves proud on being quite up in the fight for the most coffee-drinking nation, and that they cannot stay more than two hours in a row without rushing to drink coffee with meatballs, an old tradition they call fika. The secret for their high coffee consumption, however, is that all coffee you drink in Sweden is almost water, only surpassed by the crappy yank coffee.


Language:

The official language in Sweden is the universal language Transpiranto, constructed in 1905 by Ludwig Hagwald from Läspeskolan in Grönköping. All communication from the government's departments are written in transpiranto, but the bulk of the political discussion in parliament is instead held in the vernacular Gallimatias. Transpiranto is however spoken by very few, since it demands at least 3 years of university study to understand all of it's delicate structure.

The most common expression in this assumed-to-be-near-extinct Swedish language, were öte knöte knäckebröte, it has a variety of meanings, like Hello, Goodbye, How are you doing?, I am doing fine, Yes, No, Thank you, You are welcome, How much does that cost?, My name is ..., and many more. Swedish is also the most beautiful language in the world. This feature can be ascribed to the wonderful singing vowels. Or what do you think of these poems:
Hö. Ö. Hö-ö. Hö-ös mö that translates to Hay. Island. Hay island. Hay island's bride
E ä e å å i å ä e ö meaning There is a creek and in this creek there is an island .

Swedish is notable for the adjective "lagom", being the only word in the world that is absolutely politically correct. It can be roughly translated to the middle ground between mediocre and good, just about perfect if you don't want actual perfection, neither good nor bad, the quantum average that's always approaching above average but never quite there, so-so but pretty good, almost three-quarters awesome.

The main goal of the Swedish labor market negotiations is to grant a lagom salary to everyone. The lagom salary is calculated by the general formula of Swedish Solidarity:
When I have got what I need and a little more,
and you have got your share at a narrow escape
- then all is lagom and I will be at ease.


Culture:

Sweden is the home of ABBA who won two consecutive Eurovision Song Contest victories in 1966-67 when it was known as the European Cup. Now they make surströmming.

Swedes are famous for stealing copyrighted stuff from major corporations. the best example is The Pirate Bay. They also make fun of them on their homepage, just to prove that the swedes are outlaws who doesn't care about international laws

A strong tradition of folk music pervades rural Sweden, with disparate subcultures such as in flames found in isolated pockets of the island. About 95% of Swedes still listen to ABBA every day. The rest, slightly more progressive Swedes listen to Opeth instead.

The northern parts of the country are home to the Laps, an indigenous tribe of heavily dressed but well proportioned women, famous for their elegant folkloric dance, the Lap dance. The term "Laps" is considered derogatory though, and they prefer the term "South American Indian", or SAMI, only No one understands why.

As recently as 1998, Sweden has attempted to release several movies, of which the only one of note to date has been [2]. The film has become known as the only film to be banned in every country in the world.

Swedes are proud exercises of folk dances and lepracon lyrics. They enjoy both under strong influence of spiritus fortis and other forms of spring water from melting glaciers.

And as in many other countries they also have their own national singer, Darin the Great.

Sweden, as well as other nordic countries, is famous for its svårmod, that winter depression that is the second largest killer in Sweden, with the vägtull being the first. In the summer, swedes can be jolly, happy, and jolly and happy, but as soon as it starts getting darker, and snow starts piling up, BAM. Winter depression sets in. Then, when the snow starts to melt, and spring is on its way in people start getting happier. Then, suddenly and overnight, snow three meters thick covers the Sweden entirely. BAM. Mass suicides commence immediately. This whole winter depression business has a very nasty side-effect, which is mass immigration of suicidal emo kids. Another reason for the general populace to start killing itself.


Sports :

Sports is a big thing in Sweden and about 75% of the inhabitants time goes toward performing, thinking and talking about sports.

A sport that is not acknowledged by the state but never the less is immensely widespread is "Bus stop-standing" which is practiced every time 2 or more people happen to stand at the same bus stop. It is excruciatingly complicated and even someone who has practiced it for over 2 decades is still considered new to the sport.

The general rules of the sport is to remain at lagom distance to every other person standing at the bus stop. This distance has to be calculated based on the weather and time of year as well as the other persons ethnicity, looks, gender and aged compared to your own. A lagom effort not to ignore the other persons, but to pretend that they don't exist, but not overly, just like they kinda exist but you really don't know it for sure. And remember-never, NEVER EVER utter a word, and if you do have to do it ALWAYS say that "it's nice weather".


Tourist atrocities:

Sweden is the home of Swedish females, a mysterious species known from the ancient Swedish and Finnish mythology and are always called Helga. They have two blond legs, are well educated in Kung Fu and eat surströmming that gives them an inhuman strength over the males. Not to mention, that nowadays they are also famous for acting in adult movies.

If you are lucky when coming to Sweden you might catch a glimpse of Lahrs Ohgly. He is the ex leader of the Swedish communist party. He sometimes streaks around Old Town, a part of Stockholm.

Every year at may first, the population of Stockholm watches as Lahrs Ohgly gets praise from Joseph Stalin on being a full-fledged "non-communist-communist-pro-democrat". As he defends this non-paradoxical-paradoxical position the crowd dubs him the supreme upholder of the title "The most lagom man in the land".

Another very popular attraction is the Swedish phenomenon known as fjortis. A fjortis is a very strange kind of humanoid indeed. They often try to act mature, but mostly it results in a horrible death. Female fjortisar are easy to spot, as they wear too much make-up, carry around handbags filled with god knows what, and of course, they will have a hangover. Always.


Origin of the Swedes:

Unbeknownst to many, the Swedish people does not share the simian origins of their European neighbors. Instead, swedes have evolved from a type of mold that forms on moist rocks. Native swedes are easily differentiated from other people due to their particular smell, like that of wet paper and dry gravel. In order to compensate for their complete lack of shared DNA with other species of mammals, the swedes are highly impressionable. As a result of this urge to assimilate themselves into the rest of humanity, many swedes compulsively engage in activities such as table tennis and masturbation on a daily basis, even though they lack the internal organs necessary to enjoy it.

More you can read here

Tumbles wrote:

SWEDEN BASIC INFO:

The Grand Duchy of Sveeden, the penis of Europe, unofficially the Islamic Communist Anti-Nationalistic Pro-Migration United States of Sweden,

Tumbles wrote:
consists of the remnants of a once Great Empire that 1,000 years ago stretched itself from the Caspian Sea right up to the Polar region. This great empire has today been reduced to nothing more than a chilly peninsula where most flashy parts have been occupied by Norwegians. In addition, Swedish people do not have souls.

Tumbles wrote:Most Swedes live off the investments they don't have in IKEA, the corporate whore that dominates your local malls everywhere in the USA. Most of Swedes spend their free time playing or listening to death metal. Contents [hide]


History

The great history of the Swedes starts at 955 when the Great Duke of Kiev gives up his attempts to control his chaotic empire and calls for help from the Russians The Russians were tradesmen from the archipelago Roslagen on present Swedish East Coast. They were at that time trading with Constantinople and Babylon and they were renowned all over Eurasia for their great administrative skills. Just as the Norwegian Vikings would rape and plunder, the Swedish Vikings would front their enemies with waterproof business contracts, file legal complaints and set up new branches of their internal revenue service. It is rumored that the king of Sweden uses tax-payers money to pay for custom cinnamon fish for him and his pet turtle named Earl.

For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Sweden.

The Russians came when called and reorganized the feeble Duchy of Ukraine into a county called the Great Russian Empire, installed the Duke of Kiev as a county Governor with extensive tax reductions for representation and business travel.

Although Sweden is the official name of Sweden due to American imperialism, all Swedes call it Swärje.


Later History

As the capital for these great navigators, vas declared Göthenburg and as the king, as the GöthenBurgerKing, became nobody else but Göthe himself. Unfjortunately, having enjoyed too much fjast fjood, he slowly fjaded away into a 180 kg mjountain of fjat. During the years of fjamine he vas fjinally stabbed to death by his own kitchen staff. This fjirst king vas then fjollowed by his son, the master cook Göran, or as his fjather used to call him "the slickly-brown-tongued-scam-planner-fraudulent-liar-snurunge".

Through series of military set-backs and cash-backs and pay-backs and .. anyhow, the cool Svezia Imperius expanded, and along traded fish and great spirits. It reached its peak under the great king Gustavus Adolphus, who reigned for two years before he was reputedly killed. There is a rumor that Gustavus vas actually a dolphin, and that he currently resides at SeaVorld. Under his reign, the mighty empire covered most of the known central-northern Europe, especially at 16:30 hrs. It vas then the 30-years' crisis became a fact for most of the Europeans. However most of vat vas gained vas again lost at 17:45 hrs. Fjurther on, at 18:00 hrs the Empire lost even more, and fjinally at 19:00 hrs, the whole story of Svedish megastories, got wrapped together, and ...

...they started to fjolk dance instead. The modern Sveden is home of the ever appreciated folk dances and songs, vich are so lyrically brought to you from 20:00 hrs onwards from Skansen of Stockholm by Svedish National Broadcasting Agency SVT, a merry moment of group songs, while moose mate, from the last frontier of the wild side of Sveden at Stockholm, Sveden, Hebrids of Europe.

As a summary, Svedish history can be divided into five major phases:

1. The Idiotic Phase (<900 a.d.): At this time the rest of Europe vas mostly concerned with building epic monuments and creating great works of art, phjilosophy and general culture. The early inhabitants of Sweden, however, vere still unsuccessfully trying to eat rocks.

2. The Mildly Psychotic or Viking Phase (900-1300): War, lots of it, With everyone including oneself and any pets one might have. And nuclear weapons. They also had smelly cheese

I knew it! I KNEW I smelled something!

Tumbles wrote:

3. The Asshole Phase (1300-1800): More war. This time destruction on an organized basis. 500 years covered by 145 wars or one war every 3.448 years. Some wars lasted for ca 30 years. Most appear to have no goal or logic except to make other Europeans' lives hell. And conquer Spain and Palestine.

4. The Sissy Phase (1800-present): War declared bad and outright mean after the great Finnish Warriors refused to serve the Swedish king any longer. Sweden organizes a tea party for peace. No one came but the Norwegians and the Swiss. Swedish foreign policy is best described as a tearful "*sob* Why, oh Hwy can't everyone just get along?".

5. The Legalized Porn Phase (1960-present): Swedish girls begin to have vain delusions of being hot.

yea hot! em, I mean, please continue!
*kicks Swedish porn under chair*

Tumbles wrote:

Geography

Sweden consists of four parts: The Naughty Parts, The Boring Parts, The Sexy Parts and Norrland. Stockholm is the home for a species of indigenous retarded upper class twits with small ideas of what is outside their habitat Östermalm. Norrland is sparsely populated with snuffing snowmobile-driving believers in The Midnight Sun. Frankly, this is what makes Sweden so cool.

All industry and agriculture in Sweden is located in places around the country. The economical, political and medial power is however located in Stockholm. This creates a perfect symbiosis. The outlines of this were sketched by Per Albin Hansson in the 1930s and have later been proven by the professor of sociology Nils Ängelby to be consistent with the best way of life, so long as it pays his salary.

Recently Sweden has expressed claims to USA, suggesting that America was first discovered by Vikings, and the real ownership of the land is not by Columbus, but Sven the Pisspoor Navigator. So, there is a very high chance that Sweden will move to America some time in the near future.

Sweden is somewhat noted for its distinctive penis shape, but more especially noted for its limpness.

Tumbles wrote:

Food:

The two Swedish traditional dishes are meatballs, made from polar bears, and a kind of raw, rotten fish called surströmming. The tradition is said to have started when shipments of Sushi from Japan went bad on their way to Switzerland, but the polite and simple-minded Swedes forced themselves to eat it, and by courtesy they have been doing so ever since.

Swedish cuisine also consists of another fish product, "Sweet Herring", which is a herring in sugar marinade. On special occasions Swedes let herrings "breathe" in warm air for a few days; the fish reaches its optimal sweet taste just as flies start to lay eggs in them. There are also many kinds of "Sweet Herring," like "Honey Marinade Herring" or "Chocolate covered Sugar Herring".

There are also many other dishes on the Swedish menu, but mostly it consists of regular dog food and moose-flavored portions. Instead of salt, Swedes use sugar or honey. Lots of it. And I mean lots. Additionally, one can add a hell of a lot of dill to everything.

Other than the above mentioned foods, Swedish animals are very rare unless you happen to disagree. The most common of all is the mosquito imported from Finland, which is often devoured together with surströmming as the mosquito prefers to lay its eggs in what was once fish food. Some tourists also claim seeing Bigfoots in various parts of Sweden, though it has now been scientifically proven that "bigfoots" are likely to be Swedes from remote "torps" (farms) who got wasted on a Saturday night.

Tumbles wrote:The theory is supported by the fact they they have usually been sighted during weekends near "torps" and their appearance is heralded by the strong odour of "brännvin" - Swedish variety of vodka made from "björk" (birch) mixed with surströmming for more emphatic effect.

As you probably learned by now, Swedes love eggs and it is a well-known fact that former Beatle John Lennon loved eggs too. When Lennon sang "I am the egg man", an original phrase picked from Swedish folk song Agamemnon, he declared his true love for the Swedish female, the true hen having eggs in series.

As well, Swedish inhabitants consider themselves proud on being quite up in the fight for the most coffee-drinking nation, and that they cannot stay more than two hours in a row without rushing to drink coffee with meatballs,

Tumbles wrote:an old tradition they call fika. The secret for their high coffee consumption, however, is that all coffee you drink in Sweden is almost water, only surpassed by the crappy yank coffee.


Language:

The official language in Sweden is the universal language Transpiranto, constructed in 1905 by Ludwig Hagwald from Läspeskolan in Grönköping. All communication from the government's departments are written in transpiranto, but the bulk of the political discussion in parliament is instead held in the vernacular Gallimatias. Transpiranto is however spoken by very few, since it demands at least 3 years of university study to understand all of it's delicate structure.

The most common expression in this assumed-to-be-near-extinct Swedish language, were öte knöte knäckebröte, it has a variety of meanings, like Hello, Goodbye, How are you doing?, I am doing fine, Yes, No, Thank you, You are welcome, How much does that cost?, My name is ..., and many more. Swedish is also the most beautiful language in the world. This feature can be ascribed to the wonderful singing vowels. Or what do you think of these poems:
Hö. Ö. Hö-ö. Hö-ös mö that translates to Hay. Island. Hay island. Hay island's bride
E ä e å å i å ä e ö meaning There is a creek and in this creek there is an island .

Swedish is notable for the adjective "lagom", being the only word in the world that is absolutely politically correct. It can be roughly translated to the middle ground between mediocre and good, just about perfect if you don't want actual perfection, neither good nor bad, the quantum average that's always approaching above average but never quite there, so-so but pretty good, almost three-quarters awesome.

Tumbles wrote:

The main goal of the Swedish labor market negotiations is to grant a lagom salary to everyone. The lagom salary is calculated by the general formula of Swedish Solidarity:
When I have got what I need and a little more,
and you have got your share at a narrow escape
- then all is lagom and I will be at ease.


Culture:

Sweden is the home of ABBA who won two consecutive Eurovision Song Contest victories in 1966-67 when it was known as the European Cup. Now they make surströmming.

Swedes are famous for stealing copyrighted stuff from major corporations. the best example is The Pirate Bay.

YES!!! erm, I mean ooh

Tumbles wrote: They also make fun of them on their homepage, just to prove that the swedes are outlaws who doesn't care about international laws

A strong tradition of folk music pervades rural Sweden, with disparate subcultures such as in flames found in isolated pockets of the island. About 95% of Swedes still listen to ABBA every day.

Tumbles wrote: The rest, slightly more progressive Swedes listen to Opeth instead.

The northern parts of the country are home to the Laps, an indigenous tribe of heavily dressed but well proportioned women, famous for their elegant folkloric dance, the Lap dance.

Tumbles wrote: The term "Laps" is considered derogatory though, and they prefer the term "South American Indian", or SAMI, only No one understands why.

As recently as 1998, Sweden has attempted to release several movies, of which the only one of note to date has been [2]. The film has become known as the only film to be banned in every country in the world.

Swedes are proud exercises of folk dances and lepracon lyrics. They enjoy both under strong influence of spiritus fortis and other forms of spring water from melting glaciers.

And as in many other countries they also have their own national singer, Darin the Great.

Sweden, as well as other nordic countries, is famous for its svårmod, that winter depression that is the second largest killer in Sweden, with the vägtull being the first. In the summer, swedes can be jolly, happy, and jolly and happy, but as soon as it starts getting darker, and snow starts piling up, BAM. Winter depression sets in.

aaaw

Tumbles wrote: Then, when the snow starts to melt, and spring is on its way in people start getting happier.

yay!

Tumbles wrote: Then, suddenly and overnight, snow three meters thick covers the Sweden entirely. BAM. Mass suicides commence immediately.

oh noes!!

Tumbles wrote: This whole winter depression business has a very nasty side-effect, which is mass immigration of suicidal emo kids. Another reason for the general populace to start killing itself.

Ah, now it all makes sense!

Tumbles wrote:


Sports :

Sports is a big thing in Sweden and about 75% of the inhabitants time goes toward performing, thinking and talking about sports.

A sport that is not acknowledged by the state but never the less is immensely widespread is "Bus stop-standing" which is practiced every time 2 or more people happen to stand at the same bus stop. It is excruciatingly complicated and even someone who has practiced it for over 2 decades is still considered new to the sport.

Tumbles wrote:

The general rules of the sport is to remain at lagom distance to every other person standing at the bus stop. This distance has to be calculated based on the weather and time of year as well as the other persons ethnicity, looks, gender and aged compared to your own. A lagom effort not to ignore the other persons, but to pretend that they don't exist, but not overly, just like they kinda exist but you really don't know it for sure. And remember-never, NEVER EVER utter a word, and if you do have to do it ALWAYS say that "it's nice weather".


Tourist atrocities:

Sweden is the home of Swedish females, a mysterious species known from the ancient Swedish and Finnish mythology and are always called Helga. They have two blond legs, are well educated in Kung Fu and eat surströmming that gives them an inhuman strength over the males. Not to mention, that nowadays they are also famous for acting in adult movies.

If you are lucky when coming to Sweden you might catch a glimpse of Lahrs Ohgly. He is the ex leader of the Swedish communist party. He sometimes streaks around Old Town, a part of Stockholm.

Every year at may first, the population of Stockholm watches as Lahrs Ohgly gets praise from Joseph Stalin on being a full-fledged "non-communist-communist-pro-democrat". As he defends this non-paradoxical-paradoxical position the crowd dubs him the supreme upholder of the title "The most lagom man in the land".

Lagom!

Tumbles wrote:

Another very popular attraction is the Swedish phenomenon known as fjortis. A fjortis is a very strange kind of humanoid indeed. They often try to act mature, but mostly it results in a horrible death. Female fjortisar are easy to spot, as they wear too much make-up, carry around handbags filled with god knows what, and of course, they will have a hangover. Always.


Origin of the Swedes:

Unbeknownst to many, the Swedish people does not share the simian origins of their European neighbors. Instead, swedes have evolved from a type of mold that forms on moist rocks. Native swedes are easily differentiated from other people due to their particular smell, like that of wet paper and dry gravel. In order to compensate for their complete lack of shared DNA with other species of mammals, the swedes are highly impressionable. As a result of this urge to assimilate themselves into the rest of humanity, many swedes compulsively engage in activities such as table tennis and masturbation on a daily basis, even though they lack the internal organs necessary to enjoy it.

More you can read here

EXCELLENT!! Now we know what we're up against, polite people, ascended from, and whom still eat, slime. tee hee!





Ferbles is a weekly magazine and forum. The focus is on humor and discussion. Members can post at threads, keep a diary and chat, to interact with friends.Meta Keywords: ferbles, funny, anarchism, magazine, humor, forum, fun, diary, discussion, interesting, good shit, hilarious, hysterical, lively, debate, friends, advice, bullshit, community, irreverent

I don't like table tennis myself.